Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for Britney

Long story, but the short of it is, I was known for writing top 10 lists back in high school. My brother requested this topic yesterday, I solicited my old pal Wade to help, and we came up with this in less than a day:

Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for Britney

10. Shave head like Mr. T., insist handlers call her "Ms. B."
9. Add more moany "yea yea yea yea yea yeas" into every day speech, i.e. "Can I get a yea yea yea yea yea yea Whopper?"
8. Create more wholesome stage persona like Miley Cyrus' Hannah Montana, name her "Cracky McNutjob"
7. Teach kids about proud Spears heritage by decorating their room with REAL spears
6. Do a PSA about postpartum depression entitled "Hit My Baby One More Time" (Wade offered that one)
5. Invent nicotine-flavored edible underwear; eat it off self
4. Record voice-over for new automobile alarm that announces: "Stop taking out your daddy issues with that umbrella and step away from the car"
3. Make Justin Timberlake voodoo doll out of old Michael Jackson voodoo doll and Brillo pad, poke it in groin to see if his voice can get any higher
2. Insist that MTV VMA performance was really just the beginning of a new dance craze called "The Drunken Wobble" (also inspired by Wade)
1. Begin filming "Crossroads 2: Jayden Takes the Wheel"